Sayyiduna Usama bin Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that one of the daughters of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) (Sayyidah Zainab, may Allah be pleased with her) sent word to him that a son of hers was near death, so please come. He sent his greetings to her and said:“To Allah belongs whatever He takes, and to Him belongs whatever He gives, and everything has an appointed term with Him. So be patient and hope for reward from Allah.”Then Sayyidah Zainab (may Allah be pleased with her) sent again, adjuring him by oath to come to her. So the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) stood up to go, and with him were Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah, Mu’adh bin Jabal, Ubayy bin Ka’b, Zaid bin Thabit (may Allah be pleased with them), and many other Companions (may Allah be pleased with them). The child was brought before the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and he was in the throes of death, making a sound like an old waterskin (from which comes a rattling sound when water strikes it from inside; similarly, the child’s throat was making a sound at the time of death). Seeing this, tears flowed from the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Sa’d (may Allah be pleased with him) exclaimed,“O Messenger of Allah, what is this weeping?”He replied,“This is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His (righteous) servants, and Allah shows mercy to those of His servants who are merciful to others.”

Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) narrated that Sayyiduna Sa’d bin Ubadah (may Allah be pleased with him) fell ill. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) went to visit him along with Abdur Rahman bin Awf, Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas, and Abdullah bin Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with them). When he entered, he found him surrounded by his attendants. He asked,“Has he passed away?”The people replied,“No, O Messenger of Allah!”The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), seeing the severity of his illness, began to weep. When the people saw the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) weeping, they all began to weep as well. Then he said,“Listen, Allah does not punish for the tears of the eyes nor for the grief of the heart, but He punishes because of this”—and he pointed to his tongue—“or He shows mercy because of it. And the deceased is punished because of the lamentation and wailing of his family.”

The meaning is that there is no need for an apology because my habit is that I become angry only for the sake of Allah. Otherwise, consider that due to your weeping, you have lost a great reward, and you did not observe patience at the sudden onset of the calamity. That is, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) forgave the outburst and mistake that came from her chest in the state of distress, because she had no knowledge of it. And he clarified for her that true patience is that which is observed at the very beginning of the calamity, through which reward is attained. (Murattib)

Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: The deceased is punished in the grave because of the lamentation done over him.

Sayyiduna Abu Musa Ash'ari (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that when Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was wounded, Sayyiduna Suhaib (may Allah be pleased with him) came saying, "Alas, my brother!" Upon this, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "Do you not know that the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: 'The deceased is punished because of the weeping of his family over him'?"

Hazrat Abdullah bin Ubaidullah bin Abi Mulaika narrated that one of Sayyiduna Uthman’s (may Allah be pleased with him) daughters (Umm Aban) passed away in Makkah. We also attended her funeral. Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar and Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) also arrived. I was sitting between these two elders, or he said: I sat near one elder and the other elder came later and sat beside me. Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar said to Amr bin Uthman (who was Umm Aban’s brother),“Why don’t you stop the crying? The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that the deceased is punished because of the crying of his family.”Upon this, Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) also confirmed that Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) had said the same. Then he began to narrate: I was traveling with Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) from Makkah. When we reached Baida, we saw some riders under an acacia tree ahead. Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said,“Go and see who these people are.”He said: I went and saw that it was Sayyiduna Suhaib (may Allah be pleased with him). When I informed him, he said,“Call him.”I went back to Sayyiduna Suhaib (may Allah be pleased with him) and said,“Come, the Commander of the Faithful is calling you.”So he came to his service. (Well, that incident passed.) Then, when Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) was wounded, Suhaib (may Allah be pleased with him) entered weeping and saying,“Oh my brother! Oh my companion!”Upon this, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said,“Suhaib, do you weep over me? Do you not know that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said that the deceased is punished because of the crying of his family?”Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) said: When Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) passed away, I mentioned this hadith to Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her). She said,“May Allah have mercy on Umar! By Allah, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) did not say that Allah will punish a believer because of his family’s crying over him. Rather, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said that Allah increases the punishment of a disbeliever because of his family’s crying over him.”Then she said,“This verse of the Qur’an is sufficient for you: ‘No bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another’ (Al-An’am 164).”Upon this, Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas recited this verse from Surah Najm at that time (i.e., at Umm Aban’s funeral):“And it is Allah who makes one laugh and makes one weep.”Ibn Abi Mulaika said: By Allah, after hearing this speech of Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas, Sayyiduna Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) did not reply at all.

Urwah (may Allah have mercy on him) narrated that someone mentioned in the presence of Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that Sayyiduna Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) narrates from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that the deceased is punished in the grave because of the weeping of his family over him. Upon this, Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) actually said that the deceased is punished because of his bad deeds and sins, and as for his family, they continue to weep over his separation. She said: Its example is exactly like when the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) stood by the well of Badr, into which the bodies of the polytheists had been thrown, and said about them: "What I am saying, they are hearing it." So the purpose of his statement was that now they have come to know that what I used to say to them was the truth. Then she recited this verse: "You cannot make the dead hear" (__QUR_27:80__), and "Nor can you make those who are in the graves hear your call" (__QUR_35:22__). Urwah says: (You cannot make those men hear) who have made their abode in Hell.

The purified wife of the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), narrated that the Noble Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) passed by a Jewish woman whose family members were weeping over her death. At that time, he said: "These people are weeping, while she is being punished in her grave."

Sayyiduna Mughirah bin Shu’bah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: If wailing and lamentation is done over a deceased person, then due to that wailing, the deceased is also punished.

Lady Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated that when the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) received the news of the martyrdom of Sayyiduna Zaid bin Harithah, Sayyiduna Ja’far, and Abdullah bin Rawahah (may Allah be pleased with them) (in the Battle of Mu’tah), he was sitting in such a way that the signs of grief were visible on his face. I was looking through a hole in the door when a man came and mentioned the weeping of the women in the house of Sayyiduna Ja’far (may Allah be pleased with him). The Prophet said,“Forbid them from weeping.”He went but returned and said,“They are not listening.”The Prophet again said,“Forbid them.”He went a second time but returned and said,“By Allah, they have overpowered us.”(Lady Aisha) became certain that (upon his saying this) the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said,“Then throw dust in their mouths.”At this I said,“May you be ruined! Now you will not do what the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) has commanded, but you have caused him distress.”